ASSISTANCE FROM THE COMMUNITY
If you are on the Sydney Coffins website there is a large chance you are experiencing grief and loss. We have provided this page for our customers who are going through grief and sorrow, so they may get some consolation from the written experiences of other people.
The following information is general in nature and does not take into account your personal situation. You should consider whether the information is appropriate to your needs, and where appropriate, seek professional advice and support.
Advice is the last thing in the world anyone who is grieving needs.
When I was grieving, if anyone tried to give me advice I would not listen anyway….well-intentioned or not. If you feel compelled to give any advice, give it to those who are close to the grieving person, and the only thing you can really tell them is to never mind looking for the right words, never mind trying to be comforting, never mind trying to fix it or take the grief away somehow. It won’t work. All they can do is connect with the person, connect with the grief, and not pretend to understand, not pretend to have any answers
When my mother passed away, I was overcome with the feeling of wonder in how I would ever get past the grief. My sister-in-law who had also lost her mother to brain cancer shared with me a thought that has stayed with me and I have applied it to many other things in my life as well.
She said: “You will never get over it, but you will eventually get used to it”.
It allowed me to reset my expectations. I no longer expected to get over it. And I did eventually get used to it.
In life, we may hear, touch, taste, and see millions of scenes in our lives.
Many are experienced on our own, but countless are with loved ones which create a beautiful montage of lived memories.
These memories make dealing with death so hard as we relive these moments and that person is not here as we relive them and it hurts so much.
All we have is a memory and that is not enough. We need that person here with us. Their death has taken away every part of us and we cannot see the future anymore.
These thoughts and feelings are normal during grief and loss.
It will not feel like this forever.
A person never truly gets ‘over’ a suicide loss.
You get through it. Day by Day and sometimes moment by moment.
“-O for the touch of a vanished hand, and the sound of a voice that is still.”
I read this on a tombstone as l went for a walk, reading other peoples messages. These words capture it so so well. How the loss of a loved one creates such a void with such a yearning to be filled again. It somewhat comforted me to know that someone long ago felt the same.
They too are now gone. Love is truly amazing.